Well-- it's finally happened. I have waded through enough paperwork, slipped between the cracks of enough bureaucracies, slept through enough classes, and hammered out just enough essays to finally get out of school.*1 What do I get for all these endeavors? Another piece of paper.*2 Awesome.
But, really, I have done a little more than what I have indicated there. Okay, a lot more.*3 And I have learned a few things, too. One of the most valuable things I think I have learned is how to make lists; another is that I have no way of relating to the world outside of college. Taking these together, I have developed a dual-series course map to succinctly describe my own experiences.
Life Lessons, 101
- There Is a World Out There.
- Find it.
- Ask it questions.
- Listen.
- Be patient.
- Learning Is Fun. (You just gotta find the right department/ teacher/ book/ country/ mentor.)
Tings i lurned at the u'iversitie, 1b*4
- Protests are a great place to meet funny/ passionate people.
- Sometimes, you gotta look past the incredibly racist mascot and just root for the team.
- How to intermittently utilize a genre of verbose yet refined lexicon, how to facilitate the professionalization of the intelligentsia, and how one's grade becomes a benefactor of both.
- It is all a conspiracy.*5
- You learn the most from discussions with people you most disagree with.
I could offer these overviews in more detailed syllabi, but I find it more fun to randomly insert my life lessons into everyday conversation.*6 Ask the Vivirito kids how they like it.*7
Anyhow, my purpose of this letter was merely to request RSVPs for my commencement ceremony, held
Friday, May 20 -- 9:00 a.m. -- Greek Theatre -- Berkeley, CA.
So give me a holla if I get to see ya there!
--Elizabeth
*1 Well, not 'officially.' It will take many months before the paperwork goes through, possibly even a year. But I am not holding my breath.
*2 A degree! A Bachelor from the College of Letters and Sciences at UC Berkeley, to be precise. My major? Interdisciplinary Studies: International Communications and Politics.
*3 Paperwork, that is. Without going into the details of the discriminatory policies of the UC system towards out-of-state students, let us just note that it is a pain to transfer.
*4 How to footnote.
*5 This one is particular to Berkeley.
*6 I must take after my father in this manner.
*7 especially Matt. I recall an especially notable conversation.
Me: "Do you know what an IPod is?
Matt: "Oh my god."
Me: "No, really, Matt, do you know what it is?"
[Matt begins walking away.]
Me: "Matt?"
Matt [yelling]: "Why does everything have to be so political with you?! Just let it go! You have to have an opinion about everything!"
Me: "IT'S A STATUS SYMBOL! That's all it is! Like white 20-inch rims for your ears! With spinners!"
Matt [calmly]: "I love when you come home. No, really, I do."
[Matt was thenceforth not seen by me for the duration of my stay at home.]
[Mother is laughing in the kitchen.]
This is how the Vivirito Kids argue. There are really no lingering hard feelings. This conversation was actually just hilarious. I also feel it deserves the following follow-up:
Me: "Kiki, you like it when I come home, right?"
Kiki: "Ummmm...."
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