Snidbits

Interrr- vue xixxixmxiiv: The Lonely Planet
First question: "Where have you been?" It's a long story...
..."What is it you do not want me to know about you?" (are you allowed to ask that?) I quit my first job after college. It was stifling. I didn't put it on my resume because my father said it made me look bad.
"Do you always listen to what your father says?" Um, sometimes? He's a dreamer. (How in the world did this get so Freudian so quickly.)
"Can you do dirty work?" (What? The? Heck?)

En-tar-vous xixmmciiic: La casa de la vida, a halfway house
"Do you have experience working with mental illnesses?" I have extensive work with people with disabilities of all types... I have several friends with similar mental illnesses to the types this job would be working with. I really love this work.
"You love it? That's kind of a CRAZY thing to say, eh? I mean, what kind of a person says something like that?" (i guess you would know better than i? ohmygodohmygoddohmygod...)
"What do you do to take care of yourself?" (please, let me out...)

INTERVEWESHAUNG! xmmciciicidicmx: Developmental Studies Library
"Say we gave you 50 books to reshelve, what would you do?" (Are you even joking. I worked in a Graduate library for two years. Do you want me to walk you through putting books on the shelf in order. I can?)
MY question: So, exactly how many books do you currently have? "About 6,000."
And HOW are they being organized right now? "Well, they're on shelves, and in boxes."
(Besides making baby Jesus cry, this just makes me shudder... books... not in order... see ya.)

Intervista xcmibbicdddibbibisiscooliii: YMCA in the East Bay
"Yeah, I'm the CEO, and I don't know why they threw you in here with me. I don't do the hiring, I do the other part." (Laughing politely.)
"What makes you laugh?" Children (falling down on their faces).
"When was the last time you cried?" Oh, man. Last week.
"What was it that made you cry?" A book (that was sitting on the floor and which i stubbed the heck out of my toe on).
"What makes you happy?" Children.
"What is your definition of courage and give an example in your life when you were courageous?" (Much stammering... Enter a clearly illegal discussion of religion in the hiring process.)
"When was the last time you were embarrassed?" Um, five minutes ago when I couldn't think of a time I was courageous.

Tips for Job Seekers:
1) Expect the unexpected.
2) Take a week, read the Parachute job book, and really think about how the following qualities fit into your life: courage, fear, motivation, apathy, strength, mobility, COMMUTE TIME.
3) Think of colorful, two-minute sketches how you've demonstrated specific positive attributes in your life.
4) Refuse to commute more than 20 minutes.
5) Believe in your self worth.
6) Be confident of your skills.
7) Interviewers are freakin' WEIRD. Go with it. Laugh at it. Whatev.