cixvi

faced with the knowledge of this, could she turn away? could she bite back those tears and could she wander

bitter. sweet. red vanilla tea in the rainy mornings, central european city, and a window facing city park. cupping the mug with her hands, to warm them, to warm them. faced with her foreseeing this future: the splitting, the loneliness, the beginning over, and the same excuses to a new face, to new hands, from my lips to his lips and a nursed heart.

she had come back because it was time.

all this rationalized conversation, acknowledged and agreed friendly split, made it all the more real. and all the more real, the closer it became.

it.

be.

came.

faced with this, faced with this knowing, did anyone really swallow their pride scramble inside did we lie did the memory subside did we carve out our insides too deeply for each other did we come out whatever we were did we stare at the pool of what remained and mourn the abortion of our (collective) (projected) (reflected) selves. did you feel me kick did i swallow

walking back from a campus i'd never attended a lake whose name i still do not know a path unpaved walking back hand-in-hand walking, walking we were never reliving we were not recreating we were designing we were amending we were bending we sending (we) comfort and assurances (that which we will not give)

that which we will not receive.

faced with the knowledge of this (faced with this knowledge) do we