flailing

last longing days... to look forward or back?

final whirlwind vacation to vienna: kristkindlmarkt, snow. now i am here here here and the library will house me until these essays papers applications writings are complete (they will never be completed never complete never...)

who knew that actually EU-accession talks does not correlate to increased foreign direct investment? i surely didn't when i picked it as my thesis for a final paper. now i am without evidence and without room to move...

what really is my insight and motivation for journalism school? anything i put down to paper seems trite or quixotic... and, really, i have little desire to write the way they want me to. eh?

who (in 800 words or less) am i, that i should contribute to the diversity and purpose of [insert university here]? why modestly am i the perfect candidate for this or that program?

the problems here lie within: these are all just means to the ends... i write because i travel, because there i can breathe. i go through school because it allows me to move... anything else admissions officers would like to know? i don't really believe in communism. i in fact eat meat. i buy altogether too many pairs of shoes. corporations are not the world's greatest evil. the masses may well be. i recognize i am too young to already have lost my idealism, yet hungary sucks the smiles out of people and it's taken something too from me.