München...

it's always good seeing old friends. since it was my third trip there, i decided it was probably time to see the city. and i did! it is gorgeous. i shall live there once in my lifetime... there's nothing like napping in the nude park and having a bird poop on you. sigh. münich.

grumble of the track and tilt of the train-- somewhere in austria i cannot sleep. maybe from insomnia, exhaustion or excitement, or the empty-stomach cappuccino i drank 16 hours ago... this train to munchen is much more bearable than my first-- a midnight 6 hour hop on at verona, joining the already too-crowded hallways from rome. standing room ? barely. we are heading north. we walk in circles, retracing former footsteps. do we question along the way? when i do i constantly note how i'd never imagine myself to BE where i am. i like this way of thinking.
stopped, standing at st. pointenhof, somewhere west of vienna, south of the german border. a calling card and three postcards dated three weeks ago slide out of my notebook. my eyes are heavy from the nyquill.
if i were to write a life philosophy, it would not be brief. there would be many footnotes, cross references, and abbreviations. one might have to read a number of books to understand it. perhaps then you could understand me.
eyes open, keep them. my snobishness is perhaps poorly concealed disappointment in people. my hopes are so high...
lindsay said, and i smiled, 'aww... ella you are too smart to work for the government. stay in school.' vying for me to move to santa cruz wiih her.
sleepiness is where i picked up my poor posture-- hunched shoulders, curved spine, lazy chest-- but it is sometimes during these severely deprived moements that lifelife comes . i remember sitting (in poor form) on a curb in an elementary school parking lot in champaign. awaiting my nannying charge, i watched the children play. i couldn't have gotten three hours of sleep the night before-- two jobs, a full course load, and altogether too many clubs left me lagging-- i reflected, in a completely euphoric state, how beautiful fall is; how wonderful children are. simple wisdoms, simple breaths.
Loosdorf.
my eyes are heavy. perhaps it will come.