Arg.

Attention all Homeless:
No longer will your stories of your six children who haven't eaten for three days solicit pity or money from me. You will be met by my frank calling-out of your baloney. You have AirJordans on and you told me the same story yesterday. You look showered and shaven.
No, I do not smoke. This means I do not have a cigarette.

-and-
Has anybody seen that really nice older fella who sits on the corner of Telegraph and Bancroft from 8-11 M-F? He is a NICE homeless man, and I have $5 with his name on it.

(In sum:) If you are asking for money and I DO NOT KNOW YOU, you will not get mine. You are entitled to money only if you are a full-time, professional homeless person. My recognition of you as such will be enough proof.

How to tell an authentic homeless person:
*s/he has a 'spot.'
*s/he does not accost you, as that is the practice of only part-timers-- those who are in a hurry to get somewhere or go do something.
*s/he has more patience and more stories than you or i will ever have.
*perhaps a sign, but not necessary, as a beaten-up cup is universally understood.
*s/he says thank you, and means it.
*s/he sells street spirit.
*s/he has a cart, several bags, a sleeping bag, a backpack, or a dog.